Giveway.

"CAMPAIGNERS have launched a petition calling for a roundabout at a busy road junction. There’s been concern for years that the junction of the B916 and the B981 near Fordell Firs is growing increasingly dangerous as the roads get busier. Now, Tim Stephenson (48), who owns nearby Balbougie Glen, is calling for a roundabout at the spot."

Carnegie doesn't use the junction very often but he remembers the times that he has because it is literally like taking your life in your hands. Time for Fife Council and the area's four local Councillors to get the junction sorted out, otherwise when a serious accident does happen they will be partially responsible.

Nedding Off.

Carnegie reads that "A MULTI-AGENCY initiative has been launched in Rosyth to tackle anti-social behaviour fuelled by alcohol. Drunken youths are continuing to cause problems for the town’s residents, and Fife police, the council and Rosyth’s schools have decided enough is enough. Now, a number of agencies, including NHS Fife and local councillors, as well as health, youth, education and social workers, have joined forces to get to grips with the problem in the south Rosyth area."

A pat on the back to the people of Rosyth for not letting their community be hijacked by a bunch of neds, but Carnegie suspects that the anti-social behaviour is being caused more by the just plain badness of those involved. Excusing their behaviour because it is allegedly "drink fuelled" is missing the point.

£9,409.

"BBC Scotland asked each of Scotland's 32 local authorities how much they had paid out to the public in compensation due to claims arising from road defects, such as potholes, in the past five years."

Fife Council apparently only paid out £9,409 in compensation. One of the smallest amounts paid out by any local authority in the whole of Scotland, but a bit more than the £55 paid out by Shetland Council.

But do you believe that Fife's roads are so good that drivers aren't hitting pot holes? Or is it just that the Council isn't paying out on enough claims?

That's not Fife.

"A DUNFERMLINE seven-year-old missed out on a present from her grandparents because Royal Mail says her house doesn’t exist. Little Emilija Morrison has lived in her new Redrow-built home in 5 Pinkerton Street in the city’s eastern expansion with parents Iain and Ieva since Christmas. But that didn’t stop Royal Mail claiming there was no such street when they lost a present sent to Emilija by her Inverness-based grandparents."

Carnegie thinks it says more about the Royal Mail than it does about Fife actually, although they did try to blame Fife Council.

"A spokesperson for Royal Mail maintained that they had no record of premises at 5 Pinkerton Street, explaining, “The customer needs to contact the council and confirm their address details. oyal Mail uses the postcode system to deliver items and we require confirmation from any council that new build residencies are now fit for occupation and ready to receive mail before they are placed on our system.”

And again ...!!!!

"Delays are being forecast for the Forth Road Bridge this weekend as northbound traffic is restricted to a single lane for the construction of a new bus lane. Significant northbound delays are being predicted for the weekend of 28-30 March. Feta, the operators of the bridge, are advising drivers to take alternative routes or use public transport."

Only on the Forth Bridge could you have major traffic delays and disruption for several weeks being caused by putting in a bus lane and moving a bus stop. That's Fife.

Plastic ... it's fantastic?

Some sporting news from Carnegie ...

"FOOTBALL fans are flocking to snap up the plastic pitch their heroes played on. First Division Dunfermline's synthetic surface - hated by footballers - is now being sold for £5 a tile on eBay or from the club's training ground. One Fife farmer bought a batch of 100 tiles to make an indoor five-a-side pitch in a barn for his grandson. And low-maintenance plastic lawns are springing up in gardens all over the Fife town."

Carnegie isn's so sure this is a good idea ... what happens when hundreds of Fifers start binning thousands of plastic tiles with their domestic rubbish?

Common sense?

Carnegie reads that the celebrations of a Fife football team were ruined by the actions of the police.

"EAST FIFE fans have criticised police officers who threatened to spoil their title celebrations on Saturday afternoon. The Fifers clinched their first league trophy in 60 years with a 3-0 win over East Stirling, sparking jubilant scenes among players, officials and supporters at Firs Park in Falkirk. As the customary champagne began to flow in the dressing room, however, officers from Central Scotland Police moved in to warn the players that their actions would be in contravention of laws governing the presence of alcohol within football grounds."

Seems a bit over the top to Carnegie, especially given that there seems to be no shortage of paid for corporate hospitality at football grounds in Scotland, apparently despite the law. Time for a bit of common sense?

In the post.

Carnegie urges his fellow Fifers to keep an eye on their post or possibly lose their postal vote.

"FIFERS who usually vote by post or proxy are being urged to look out for a letter from their local electoral registration officer requesting their signature and date of birth. From late March the electoral officer for Fife will be writing to anyone who has a postal vote, or has appointed a proxy to vote on their behalf, to ask for their details. This is because of new rules which are designed to increase the security of votes cast when the voter is not visiting the polling place."

Keep an eye out for the letter. Don't lose your postal vote.

Cymru am byth!

Carnegie was "flicking" through the Fife Council website and came across a press release promoting ... St David's Day, "How will you celebrate St David's Day?"

Is Carnegie alone in trying to work out why any Fifer would be celebrating St David's Day .. given that St David was Welsh ... and given that Fife ... lies in Scotland?

The clue is in the fact that the contact details on the release are for Fife Council's "Equality and Diversity" Team. But surely, their energies would be better spent tackling other forms of inequality rather than trying to create "equality" where common sense indicates "inequality" doesn't exist? Wales forever!

£300,000.

Are you one of the Fifers that has yet to claim their prepaid road toll vouchers money back?

"DRIVERS WHO bought toll vouchers for the Forth Road Bridge are still owed £300,000 in unclaimed refunds. Bridge operator Forth Estuary Transport Authority is urging anyone who used the voucher system to look for their tickets and claim what they are owed before the May 9 deadline. Before tolls were scrapped on February 11, bridge users could buy books of pre-paid vouchers. Cars and light vehicles saved 10% while heavy goods vehicles saved 35%. FETA said more than £100,000 worth of vouchers had been refunded, but estimated up to £300,000 still had to be claimed."

It's your cash. Claim it back. Don't give FETA the satisfaction of being able to keep your money. Even if people don't claim it back the big cheeses at FETA should consider making donations to local charities on either side of the Forth Bridge, given that they shouldn't be keeping money that isn't in good conscience theirs to keep.

And again ....

"THE FORTH Road Bridge was closed because of an overturned lorry for the second time this year amid a row about severe weather traffic restrictions on the crossing. Both carriageways were shut at 11.15am yesterday after a curtain-sided heavy vehicle travelling north toppled across the central reservation."

When is a Bridge not a Bridge ... when it is shut ... again.

Concrete.

Carnegie realises that he is in danger of becoming a bit of a "Bridge bore," but he must highlight the latest calamity to impact the operation of the Forth Road Bridge.

"RUSH-HOUR chaos hit the Forth Road Bridge again yesterday – this time caused by a concrete mixer spilling tonnes of cement on to the carriageway. Traffic queues stretched five miles into Fife last night after the two-lane southbound carriageway had to be closed for clean-up work."

Carnegie is reminded of the old adage that if you worked hard you made your own luck. Given the run of bad luck which seems to be afflicting the Forth Bridge Carnegie suggests that the Big Cheeses at the Forth Estuary Transport Authority (FETA) aren't working hard enough.

Fat's Fife.

Carnegie reads "FIFE IS home to the most overweight children in Scotland, shock new figures have revealed. More than a quarter of the region’s primary one pupils are classed as overweight, with more than 10% described as obese and 5% classed as severely obese."

We need to do more to make sure our kids are getting enough exercise and physical activity and are educated about healthy eating choices. Clearly, that isn't happening well enough in Fife at the moment. It's one thing for adults to make choices about their lifestyles but children need to be better looked after.

Pooper Trooper.

Carnegie reads that "Fife Council's Labour leader has said plans to scrap free poop-scoop bags to save money are "short-sighted". The authority has agreed to stop the £40,000 scheme, which makes about three million bags available annually. The council insisted the change in policy would not result in dog owners failing to clean up after their pets."

It seems strange that the administration of Fife Council has cut this measure for the sake of an expenditure of just £40,000 given the near billion budget of Fife Council and the costs and health risks associated with dog-fouling. It might have made sense to end the provision of 3 million plastic bags for environmental reasons, but not just for cost considerations.

But trust "Fife Labour Leader" Alex Rowley to mix his metaphors and link dog-fouling with people being "short-sighted." That's the last thing you would want to be.

Caught short .... in Fife.

"Three former public conveniences in Fife have been sold for a total of £60,000 at auction. The council-owned toilets, in Rosyth, Kirkcaldy and Dunfermline, went under the hammer at a property sale ... The auction house had expected to raise about £30,000 for each of the toilet blocks however they were caught short with the most expensive, in Brodick Road, Kirkcaldy, fetching just £24,500. Toilets in Mercer Place, Dunfermline, sold for £20,500 and a block in Crossroads Place, Rosyth was snapped up for just £15,000. The price tags contrast heavily with former loos in St Andrews which sold last year for almost £200,000."

No offence to the residents of Rosyth, Dunfermline or Kirkcaldy, but a public toilet, especially in St Andrews ,seems to have a greater cache than those in other Fife towns. At least the Fife taxpayer will get some cash back, albeit after the commission for the auctioneers and selling agents.

Lorry Laughs ...

Carnegie's readers will have clocked the fact that he isn't a big fan of FETA (the Forth Estuary Transport Authority) which following the abolition of bridge tolls seems to be a quango in a vain search for things to be doing. The latest of which seems to be the whacky proposal to put speed cameras on the Road Bridge, in order to slow traffic down, .... in response to the abolition of tolls which should have speeded up traffic flows.

But one proposal which Carnegie is minded to support are moves aimed to stop lorry drivers from ignoring high wind warnings and crossing the Bridge when they shouldn't.

"FORTH Road Bridge operators will consider imposing financial penalties on the companies whose lorry drivers travel across the bridge despite crossing restrictions in place. The news comes less than a month after a lorry was overturned by 68mph winds only one minute after the Forth Estuary Transport Authority (Feta) imposed a restriction to high-sided vehicles crossing the bridge. This was the third incident of its kind in the last six years prompting calls at Feta’s board meeting on Friday for action to be taken. Councillor Ian Chisholm suggested amending the bridge bye-laws to impose financial penalties on firms whose drivers ignore advisory signs. Chief engineer and bridgemaster Barry Colford said Feta would discuss the possibility with police ..."

Given the chaos that the last incident caused, bringing virtual traffic gridlock to the entire central belt, regrettably something will need to be done if lorry drivers don't obey the rules and risk their own safety and that of other motorists.

Crime up.

"RECORDED crime in Fife has gone up in the past 10 years by more than 7,000 incidents but has dropped in the past three. Figures released this week show that the number of recorded crimes in the Kingdom in 2006-07 was 30,304, compared to 22,856 in 1997-98. The increase is in all areas except housebreaking. Non-sexual violent crime went from 338 to 550 while serious assaults went from 88 to 275. However, the current overall figure has come down in the last three years from a high of 34,862 in 2004-2005."

Carnegie hates to point out that even allowing for the fact that crime fiugures have fallen over the last four years, the overall level of crime across the Kingdom is still nearly a third higher than it was in 1997-98. Is that really something that we should be happy about?

Time for the cops to get their house in order and better protect Fife's people, afterall they have more resources, cash and cops, than ever before to tackle crime and that is in large part because the police have been so good at getting extra cash ... in response to them highlighting increasing crime figures.

The 35,000.

Carnegie might just have worked out why the delays for motorists using the Forth Road Bridge have increased so much as previously reported on That's Fife.

"AN extra 35,000 drivers crossed the Forth Road Bridge in the week after tolls were abolished. Figures from Forth Estuary Transport Authority (FETA), which runs the bridge, appeared to confirm predictions that removing the charges would increase traffic.But bridge officials said it was still too early to draw conclusions. The charge for northbound motorists was lifted on February 11.The peak increase in traffic volume came the following Sunday when numbers were up 15 per cent.But traffic levels fell back last week, when they were just three per cent higher than before the tolls were scrapped."

But was that Fifers saving a pound by not having to pay tolls ... or Edinburghers deciding to visit the Kingdom? Either way it gives a remarkable insight into the human psyche that the abolition of tolls on the Bridge seemed to generate such a change in human movement patterns across the central belt of Scotland.

He's fit ... and he knows it.

Carnegie reads of the latest London antics of one of Fife's Westminster Members of Parliament.

"A FIFE MP has admitted he is so determined to win the Westminster Mile which takes place in London later today he has asked the speaker of the House of Commons to ban one of his political rivals. Liberal Democrat Willie Rennie came second to Labour’s Jim Murphy in the Sport Relief fund-raiser shortly after his win in the Dunfermline and West Fife by-election two years ago. The East Renfrewshire MP won the footrace in a very respectable time of 5mins and 20sec, with Mr Rennie hot on his heels with a time of 5mins and 35sec."

However, Mr Carnegie is more concerned by one of the other comments attributed to Mr Rennie, "There are usually about 60 or 70 MPs in the race and Mr Rennie said the competition was fierce. “I think Jim is probably the fittest MP there,” he added."

I am sure that Mr Murphy has never been so flattered by a fellow Parliamentarian and does Mr Rennie realise his comments could so easily be misinterpreted? But Carnegie couldn't possible do that, but there is said to be a fine line between love and hate.

Elephants and MSPs.

Carnegie has read the increasingly inane and irrational ramblings of SNP Member of the Scottish Parliament Christopher Harvie who over the last few days who has had a go at ... Lockerbie ... Sir Tom Hunter ... and the state of attire of Scotland's young people. But he thinks that Professor Harvie's latest dig at Kirkcaldy is going a bit too far.

"AN MSP faces a fresh political row over his controversial comments after he described the sea front at Kirkcaldy as “the backside of an elephant”. Mid Scotland and Fife SNP MSP Christopher Harvie, who has a constituency office in the Fife town, was yesterday forced to apologise for remarks he made about Lockerbie which have been condemned as “gratuitously offensive”, “in appallingly bad taste” and “an insult”. On his official Holyrood website video the 63-year-old history professor describes Kirkcaldy, which he contested in elections last May, in the following terms, “Kirkcaldy is a great and handsome town, among the most beautiful urban landscapes I have seen. “Unfortunately it’s got an esplanade along the Forth which looks like the backside of an elephant.”

And he is one of Fife's elected representatives ... Carnegie thinks that "Professor" Harvie has obviously been at too much of the the jungle juice ... whilst he was out looking at elephants. We Fifers have one thing in common with elephants ... we also don't forget.

Up for a gong.

Even more bizarre is the news that the toll plaza approaching the southern end of the Forth Road Bridge is in the running for a design prize ... despite it being currently demolished.

"THE doomed Forth Road Bridge tollbooth canopy is in line for a major design award – just as it is being torn down. The structure, which cost more than £5 million to design and build, is being scrapped following the decision by the Scottish Government to drop bridge tolls ... Despite this it has now been named as one of more than 100 entries shortlisted for this year's Civic Trust awards, which aim to encourage projects that are "culturally, socially or economically beneficial", and make "an outstanding contribution to the quality and appearance of the environment".

Mmmmm. The Civic Trust really need to get out more.