When The Going ...

... Gets tough, Billy Ocean starts singing. But Carnegie sees that a rather elderly Billy Ocean is coming soon to Fife, "Billy Ocean To Get Into Car-negie Hall," in October. Cheesy title on the press release based on one of his song titles.

Carnegie thinks he has really went down hill from his heyday in the Eighties. He's definitely got a bus pass. From NY's Carnegie Hall to ... Dunfermline's. That's fame.

Out of Lochgelly.

Carnegie is amazed at the range of people who want to visit Fife.

"The Osiligi Maasai Warrior Troupe play Lochgelly Centre on Friday 20th June. They have, however, already visited the town. Back in May they came over to do a little advance promotion for the show and they were given a warm Scots welcome. The troupe did a wee performance in the Lochgelly Co-op as unsuspecting members of the public came in to get their messages."

These Massai Warriors really get around. Aren't these the guys that jump up and down a lot and recently completed the London Marathon? But how did they end up in Lochgelly?

Drilling For Gold.

Mr Carnegie bets you were wondering what those things sitting in the Forth were.

"A TEAM of specialists have been hard at work over the past fortnight trying to figure out the best route for the new bridge across the Firth of Forth. Holes are being drilled into the seabed across the river at Queensferry to make sure the correct route is chosen for the multi- billion pound bridge. Glover Site Investigations Ltd was awarded the £2.1 million contract last month to carry out a detailed study of the proposed route."

£2 million to drill some holes, ... but okay they are under water and at depth.

Cost Of Dying.

Carngie thinks that this constant justification for the ever increasing the costs of vital public services is getting a bit ridiculous.

"THE COST of cremations in Fife could be set to spiral following a hike in the number of Fifers with dodgy teeth being cremated. An increase in the number of people being cremated in Fife who have amalgam fillings in their teeth has led to an increase in mercury emissions which are harmful to humans and even unborn babies. In an attempt to curb the problem environmental protection legislation has stated there must be a 50 per cent reduction in mercury emissions from crematoria across the UK by 2012."

The cost of cremation is going up because people have more fillings in their teeth. This really is getting nonsensical.

Who Knows?

"THE SCOTTISH Government admitted yesterday it has no idea what effect the removal of tolls from the Tay and Forth bridges has had on traffic or the environment. Although it is now more than four months since tolls were removed, roadworks in Dundee and changes to the traffic system at the Forth Road Bridge have made it impossible to accurately map what impact scrapping them has had. The tolls were abolished in February to bring the two east coast bridges in line with the Skye and Erskine bridges, which had already had tolls removed."

Carnegie supported the abolition of tolls on the Forth Bridge on fairness grounds if nothing else. But even he thinks the impact of the change should have been assessed at the very least, so that for future generations we do actually know what benefit or possible negative effects the change brought. To blame the lack of that on road works is a pretty tame justification.

Mini-Bridge.

"THE cost of replacing expansion joints on the Forth Road Bridge has jumped from £5.9 million to £8.7m, according to a new report by bridge bosses. The joints, which allow the bridge to expand and contract, need replacing because they have come to the end of their lifespan. The price rise is being blamed on an increase in the cost of raw materials as well as the cost of installing a temporary viaduct to keep the bridge open during works. Engineers have designed two large temporary ramps – dubbed "mini-bridges" – over the joints which would allow traffic to travel over them while work was carried out below."

Carnegie thinks it's a clever idea.

Strong.

So another one of those "good news, bad news" moment from the big cheeses at the Forth estuary Transport Authority (FETA): the bad news, well the strength of the Bridge's cables has reduced by 10% but the good news is that the Bridge will not have to be closed to HGVs as soon as was originally thought.

"The main suspension cables on the Forth Road Bridge have lost about 10% of their strength, it has been warned. However, engineers studying corrosion on the bridge said the cables may be deteriorating more slowly than previously feared. It had been thought weight limits on the crossing could be needed as early as 2014 but latest findings suggest a date of between 2017 and 2021."

And the irony is that it has already lead to some people calling for the replacement bridge over the Forth to be scrapped. You win some, you lose some.

Snap.

Carngeie reads that, "FIFE’S Safety Camera Partnership has defended the use of mobile speed cameras in the early hours of the morning after officers came in for criticism for employing the tactic. The Courier was contacted by a reader from central Fife who was perplexed to see a detector van stationed on the A92 at the Thornton bypass at 5.30am earlier this month."

This does seem a bit OTT to Carnegie. If you want to catch speeders, fine, but you also need to deploy resources effectively to meet the risk and offset the costs of doing it.

Carnegie would also like to know it it lawful for the speed vans to park up on grass verges, without any layby or surface road, along the motorway given that this doesn't seem to happen in other areas.

Appliance of Science.

Carnegie thinks the solution to this problem doesn't really require rocket science.

"A working group has recommended that barriers be installed on the Forth Road Bridge to stop lorries blowing over. The group was set up by the Forth Estuary Transport Authority (Feta), which manages the bridge, after several incidents during high winds. CCTV images of drivers who persistently cross when HGVs are banned could also be released to try to catch them."

The cops should charge the lorry drivers that cross the Bridge after ignoring repeated warnings and fine them for driving without due care and attention, and keep doing it until the ones that are ignoring the message get it.

Calling Foul.

"BEAUTY spots in Dalgety Bay have been dogged by bags of pet excrement hung from trees. Dog owners have been picking up their pets’ dirt in plastic bags and simply tossing them away rather than binning them. The result is the bizarre sight of full bags dropping from the branches of trees and shrubs in the town’s wooded areas, particularly alongside the popular Fife coastal path."

Carnegie thinks that dog owners need to get a grip. Why bother to actually clean up after your dog as is required by law and then not dispose of it properly? It makes no sense to Carnegie. The offending dog owners involved should get a grip.

Shameful Politics.

If this story is true then the SNP and Lib Dems in Fife should hang their heads in shame.

"MP John MacDougall, who is battling cancer, has vowed to return to Westminster and fight the next election. The 60-year-old Labour MP for Glenrothes spoke out after it emerged SNP and Lib Dem bosses were planning for a by-election in his seat. He said an operation for mesothelioma, which attacks the lungs, had been a success and he was working in his constituency office. He said: "My intention is to fight the next election and to win it."

They should be ashamed of themselves. All the best Mr MacDougall.

In The Post.

So, another cock-up by Fife Council.

"AN INVESTIGATION has been launched into the loss of personal details of around 50 teachers in a north-east Fife school. Forms containing the home addresses, dates of birth, driving licence and passport details of the teachers went missing after Fife Council sent them to Disclosure Scotland. The local authority insists the forms were sent recorded delivery on April 11 and were signed for at the other end on April 12. However, Disclosure Scotland claims it received only three of the forms and on separate dates."

Fife Council are offering to "support" the staff affected, but basically they shouldn't have lost the information in the first place and the Council should be fined by the appropriate authorities for the shoddy way in which they've handled it. That might make them think twice when they next process confidential information.

Hail To The Chief.

So, "FIFE'S new Chief Constable is the first woman in Scotland to hold such a post. Former Deputy Chief Constable Norma Graham said: "I am absolutely delighted to be appointed Chief Constable of Fife Police. It is a real honour to be asked to lead an organisation that is so committed to providing a high quality policing service to our communities."

Time will tell how good a Chief the new Chief is, but yet again Fife leads the way. At least she doesn't look like Herman Munster, unlike the previous incumbent.

In Arrears.

Carnegie hadn't realised that since 1999 Fife Council has written off a total of £4.4 million in rent arrears, with the most recent write off being £400,000 in the 2007/8 financial year.

Worse than that is the fact that other information tabled in the Scottish Parliament suggests that in 2002 Fife Council had nearly £2.7 million owed to it by tenants in rent arrears.

Fife Council has budgetary problems which have lead it to cut services and raise charges for those that are still being provided. They should really do better in managing the Council's housing stock so that they collect the rent from their tenants that is due.

Caresharing?

And as one local school gets a glowing inspection report, a privately run nursery in Dunfermline doesn't.

"THE firm which owns the Dunfermline nursery at the centre of an E.coli outbreak two years ago has come under fire for having poor levels of hygiene at another of its nurseries. The Careshare nursery on the Carnegie Campus at Pitreavie has received a damning report from government inspectors who visited it in May. Inspectors from Her Majesty’s Inspectorate of Education (HMIE) and the Care Commission branded efforts to improve standards as “weak”.

Carnegie doesn't think they are living up to their name by being as caring as they could be. Their company slogan is "complete childcare." It doesn't appear to be that at the moment in at least one of their nurseries.

Oh yeah? Oh yeah?

"DUNFERMLINE could get its very own town crier. For the town crier tournament held in the city on Saturday was such a success that organisers hope to make it an annual event – as well as finding a town crier for Dunfermline. Town criers donning full colourful regalia descended on the city from throughout the UK on Saturday to take part in the event, which was organised by Dunfermline City Centre Management. City-centre manager Susan Hughes commented, “This year was a taster and we’re hoping Dunfermline could put a bid in to host the British Town Crier Championships in 2010 ..."

Just how much use would Dunfermline make of a town crier anyway? Just buy a megaphone, it would be cheaper. But not as colourful.

Keeping Trim.

"Aberdour PS wins the Lottery ... Aberdour PS wins a £10,000 grant from the lottery. Following the consulation with the pupils, the pupil council supported the application process for a grant. The £10,000 will be use to fund a trim trail in the playground."

Carnegie likes to keep trim, but had never heard of trim trails.

Top Marks.

Carnegie wants to say a "well done" to all those associated with Donibristle Primary School in Dalgety Bay following a glowing Inspector's Report.

"Donibristle Primary School is very pleased that the many strengths of the Learning and Teaching environment at the school have been acknowledged in this HMI Report, published this week. HM Inspectors identified the following key strengths: Pupils' attainment in mathematics; Nursery children and primary pupils engaged effectively with each other during learning experiences; Ways in which staff contributed to and led school developments to improve pupils' learning; The effective leadership of the management team."

Keep up the good work.

Aberdour Festival.

"ABERDOUR'S royal family has been chosen for the village's 25th festival.Daniel Neilson is King, with Esme Oldfield as Queen and Peter Clark and Taryn Neilson will be on hand as attendants. This year, Aberdour Festival's theme is 'Our World in One World' which will emphasise the various aims of the event, which include helping to share in the care and improvement of the local environment and allowing the community and visitors to celebrate the history and culture of Aberdour. The 25th festival takes place from July 25 to August 3 and is a landmark for the town. To make it special, organisers have booked a large marquee on Silver Sands playing field.Confirmed events include Eddi Reader, 'Albannach', Dorothy Paul, Henry Sandon of the Antiques Roadshow and the popular ceilidh band Callanish."

Carnegie knows where he will be on 25th July ... will you be there?

Blank Cheque?

So how exactly is the Scottish Government going to fund the construction of the new Forth Bridge?

"THE Scottish Government today came under opposition pressure to spell out how it plans to fund the new £4 billion Forth Bridge. Liberal Democrats voiced concerns that Finance Secretary John Swinney is delaying a decision on the issue. And they called for ministers to end the uncertainty before the Scottish Parliament's summer break, which begins at the end of the month."

Fifers deserve an answer. Sooner rather than later.

Last Puffin.

Sad news from our scientists.

"Fewer puffins are going to breed at the UK's largest colony of the species, on the Isle of May, scientists report. Numbers are down to about 41,000 breeding pairs this year from almost 70,000 pairs in 2003. Researchers believe the decline is linked to changes in the North Sea food web, perhaps related to climate change."

Here's hoping the scientists find out what the problem is and start reversing it.

We Are Not Alone.

"THE truth is out there... perhaps even over the skies of West Fife, according to the latest Ministry of Defence figures. The most comprehensive MoD reports on sightings of unidentified flying objects (UFOs) were made available to the public in mid-May, and cover sightings compiled from 1981 to the present. The eight files contain details of thousands of sightings, ranging from dazzling lights and star-shaped objects in the sky to little green men."

Fife is definitely not alone. Carnegie himself has witnessed a few unidentified flying objects over the years, usually along Dunfermline High Street late on a Friday or Saturday night. And even the occasional little green man.

Booths For Sale.

Carnegie sees that the Big Cheeses at the Forth Estuary Transport Authority (FETA) haven't been able to come up with a buyer for their £5 million toll booths which were removed after sixteen months when tolls were abolished on the Forth Road Bridge.

"BRIDGE bosses are yet to receive a single offer for tollbooths erected at the Forth Road, at a cost of £5 million, less than two years ago. The Forth Estuary Transport Authority (Feta) has admitted it is yet to find a buyer despite scouring Europe in a bid to find one. The hi-tech system, which proved to be hugely unpopular with motorists and businesses, was finally scrapped on February 11. The seven stainless steel tollbooths, sensors and a sophisticated server were in use for just 16 months from September 2006."

Not even Superman is interested. But should they put them aside in expectation of using them on the new Bridge when it is built in several years?

Bin Them.

Carnegie never ceases to be amazed at the pure badness of some of the citizens that live amongst us.

"Firefighters have warned about the dangers of setting fire to dustbins after a spate of incidents in Fife. In one fire in Kirkcaldy on Tuesday, the blaze spread to the owner's house. In another, in Dunfermline, severe damage was caused to a gas pipeline."

Carnegie doesn't know what possesses these people to do what they are doing. But the sooner they are found and dealt with the better for everyone.

Goodbye Mr Wilson.

"FIFE'S police chief Peter Wilson has retired after a 35 year career. Mr Wilson (54) was appointed Chief Constable in 2001, having previously been Deputy Chief Constable of Grampian Police.He began his career with Edinburgh City Police in 1973."

So Fife's top cop has gone, but is someone taking over from him? Mr Munster no more.

The "Temporary" Chief is Norma Graham.

£1.45 Million.

That's a lot of money.

" FIFE’S COUNCILLORS claimed a total of £1.45 million in salaries and expenses during the last financial year. The amount is an increase of £329,538 on the previous year but includes a month’s allowances paid to former councillors who stood down prior to the local government elections last May. The region’s 78 members now receive an annual salary instead of a basic allowance, as well as telephone allowances and the reimbursement of travel expenses incurred when on official council business. "

Carnegie doesn't think it is worth it. Would you miss anyone if the number of Councillors was reduced from 78 to something less?

Fife's A Beach.

Carnegie reads that, "FIFE WAS riding on the crest of a wave yesterday after four more of its seaside locations were granted designated bathing beach status. Leven, Kirkcaldy (Seafield), Kinghorn (Harbour) and Tentsmuir Sands can now boast of having water fit to swim in, and The Courier understands there could be further good news for Leven and Kirkcaldy when the annual Blue Flag and Seaside Awards are announced tomorrow. Two Fife bathing beaches— Roome Bay at Crail and Pettycur at Kinghorn—were among six the panel was asked to consider withdrawing the designation from because of low usage, but the minister accepted the recommendation that they should be retained.

Congratulations to Fife. Carnegie likes walking along beaches. It reminds him of his time in the US.

Superfast No More.

So, sad news about the ending of the Superfast Ferry service, but was it Carnegie or was there always a fundamental contradiction between the name of the company and the fact that it took 18 hours to get to the Continent?

"SCOTLAND’S SEA link with the continent was in doubt last night as ferry giant Superfast announced it is to pull the plug on the flagship service between Fife and Zeebrugge. Launched after years of campaigning, careful negotiation and a £10 million public subsidy the maiden voyage in May 2002 was hailed as a “dream come true.” But last night that dream lay in tatters as efforts got under way to try to find another operator to take over the route. A statement from the Attica Group, the parent company for Superfast Ferries which operates the service, confirmed that the last sailing from Rosyth will be on September 13."

Whatever the reasons for the ferry service's withdrawal we should be careful about pouring even more public cash into a business which fundamentally couldn't make a big enough profit, or indeed even a profit, to keep it going. One mistake we can learn from. Repeating the same one all over again would be foolish and costly.

Gord Help Us.

Carnegie doesn't expect special treatment for Fife just because our current PM, Gordon Brown, is himself a Fifer, but there are times when being near the PM's patch means that Fife loses out because our Gordon can't be seen to be avoiding the issues just because it happens to be on his patch.

The proposed closure of Post Offices in Fife is a case in point.

"ANOTHER 42 Scottish post offices have been earmarked for closure, with services in the Prime Minister's constituency among those facing the axe. In the latest round of cuts announced yesterday, four post offices were singled out in Gordon Brown's Kirkcaldy and Cowdenbeath seat. There are 21 post offices in Mr Brown's constituency. The latest proposals are part of UK-wide cutbacks and will affect the North-east, Tayside and Fife. There are 374 post offices in the area covered by the announcement."

There are major questions about the need for so much Post Office rationalisation and about how much it will actually save, but sadly Fifers will lose out yet again as a result of a government policy being pursued by a government lead by one of its own.